


People in pearl houses shouldn't throw rhinestones

by CaptainDude (HandbagMurder)



Series: South Park one shots [11]
Category: South Park
Genre: Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Lingerie, Longhair!Tweek, M/M, Makeup, PWP, i just think he would be hornier than craig most of the time, perverted!tweek, top!Tweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 01:54:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8602651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandbagMurder/pseuds/CaptainDude
Summary: Tweek and Craig have been dating for nearly a decade, and craig is only just starting to open up to his boyfriend. But of course, being craig, he does so in the most incomprehensible, illogical ways.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Its been an impossibly long time since ive written anything, and i think this is very obvious in this work! unfortunately, however, i will not achieve anything unless i do my best to get back into the story writing habit, and equally unfortunately, 'getting back into the story writing habit' means giving up on re-working an exhausted, disjointed, and otherwise un-salvageable smut fic, so i can go back to writing good and legible things.
> 
> without further ado i therefore present to you all an imperfect and entirely pornographic story, with the best intentions to brighten your day.

He sat on the edge of the tub with his ankles crossed demurely, his hands pressed together and buried deeply in the gap that separated his thighs. Beside him, Craig was rummaging in the bathroom drawers in search of an item - Tweek didn’t look away from the light fixture he was staring at. He rolled his shoulders slowly while he waited, familiarising himself with the lightness of the fabric he was wearing. He didn’t breathe a word of resistance, and he did not try to shy away, when Craig erected himself and waved a thin, grey coloured pencil in front of his eyes.

“Found it.”

“You know, it’s probably not hygienic for you to put your sister’s makeup on me.”

“It’s fine. She never needs to know.”

Craig’s fingers found the underside of his chin, and with a gentle push upwards he elevated Tweek’s face towards the ceiling again. Tweek could feel a tremble in Craig’s fingers, and the distant vibrations of his heart hammering like a bass drum in his chest. This level of intimacy was strangely scary, and it was hard to pinpoint how this sense of being afraid was different to what he had encountered before; Craig had soft hands and he smelled pleasant - Tweek knew him well enough that usually, he wasn’t afraid of him at all, but right now Tweek found that he feared him in the way he feared looking at the mirror at four in the morning. Like he might look at him, and see that the person looking back isn’t the same person he’d looked at countless times before.

“You actually look pretty good, I think. Close your eyes?”

Tweek did as instructed, and it felt weird and kind of embarrassing to follow his directions because Tweek had never been good at obliging others. His inability to submit to orders was easily his biggest flaw..

“Don’t take my eyes out,” Tweek whispered, allowing Craig to start drawing his eyeliner and hoping he couldn’t see him flushing in the fluorescence of the bathroom light.

“Just, trust me.”

Craig did an excellent job with the liner. Tweek wondered fleetingly if that was because Craig had had experience, or if he was just lucky and good with his hands. The glossy, well manicured nails on his fingers said things Tweek didn’t quite understand about him yet. The way Craig sat in class and chewed on the ends of his pens until ink coloured his teeth and the insides of his lips made Tweek wonder if maybe there were things about Craig that _he_ couldn’t quite understand yet either. When Craig told him he could put his face down, Tweek saw the bottles of OPI varnish lined up on the top shelf in the mirror cabinet.

Craig placed the pencil on the bottom shelf, next to a pair of toothbrushes, and closed the cabinet with a resounding click.

“You can check the mirror now.” He said, stepping back and wiping his palms on the legs of his jeans.

Tweek grit his teeth and stood as gracefully as possible, given his nerves. He felt a little strange, and a little unfamiliar with moving in this state - something inside of him insisted that he should probably be more chaste than usual right now, but he thought to himself that things like the way he dressed couldn’t change the fundamental reality of who he was.

He looked in the mirror and was relieved to see himself. No more than usual, and no less. His hair was long and blond, loose around his face for the first time in years. His eyes were green and his nose was bent a little in the middle. He was wearing lingerie. He thought that even though he looked like himself, his features did look different on the set of his face now. He swept the corner of his tongue over his bottom lip, tasting the frosty pink lipstick Craig had chosen for him from the pharmacy, and found his own mouth tasted unpleasantly waxy. Alien.

Tweek creased his eyebrows and tried to pull himself up to match the height of his company. Not short, by any standard, he still felt somewhat slight next to Craig, whose long legs made him seem unreachable to anyone less than six feet high off the ground. He turned and examined the angles and muscles of his body from the left, and then the right, and wondered if he should have taken the time to shave his armpits. Maybe not. This whole turn of events had been rather short notice.

“That’s me, alright,” He said eventually, leaning in closer to inspect the way Craig had contoured his face. “I actually look okay.”

“Of course you do. What kind of a hack do you take me for?”

Craig sounded a little bit defensive. Tweek turned to him and frowned, uneasy with the way the satiny night shift he was sporting slipped against the front of his upper thighs.

“Dude, give me a minute. This is kind of weird for me, is all.”

“Hm,” Craig narrowed his eyes an increment, unknowable thoughts flickering over his features. “Maybe I need more practice. Do you want me to do something with your hair?”

“No, not really. You’re the one who wanted to do this.”

“Alright, alright. Don’t worry about it.”

Tweek crinkled his nose, and returned his attention to his reflection.

“How long do you want me to keep it on?” He asked.

Craig shifted, Tweek watching his weight transfer from one leg to the other. It occurred to Tweek that Craig moved in a very strange kind of way - Like he was fluid and self-aware, even when he was focusing on other things. Tweek tried to think about the times they had walked together, and danced together, and all those occasions the pair of them had fucked, and he wondered why he had never noticed Craig moved this way before.

Perhaps Craig never _has_ moved this way before? It seemed like a rude kind of thing to ask about, so Tweek did his best to strike it from his mind.

“However long,” Craig answered, voice steady and reasonable, “I just wanted someone to practice on.”

Tweek looked back and arched his eyebrows disbelievingly. Craig dropped his eyes, suddenly deeply fascinated by the bathroom floor tiles. It was obvious he wanted Tweek to keep it on as long as possible.

Tweek didn’t hate it that much. In fact, the breezy, free feeling of satin on his hips was rather comfortable. He decided he would humour him a little longer.

“You put a lot of effort in,” He said, flicking his hair back off his shoulder. “I guess I can keep it on.”

He gestured towards the bathroom door, and Craig relaxed, giving Tweek a reserved smile as the pair of them shuffled down the hall toward Craig’s bedroom door. As they went, Tweek felt a rush of affection for him.

Craig really was a mysterious person, the motivations behind his actions were a secret entirely his own. Nonetheless, Tweek still understood enough about him to know that Craig really was an ideal partner - There were so many times in his life that Tweek had felt naked and exposed, but with Craig beside him he was shielded and he was hidden, and Craig knew parts of Tweek that no one else would ever know. When they were sitting next to each other in class with their shoulders touching, and Craig was drawing teeth and creeping ivy and seraphim in his journal, Tweek felt a little like Craig was beginning to reveal something in himself, but now as Tweek fingered the hem of his lingerie, he wondered if _this_ was the real revelation. Was Craig finally starting to break open, and yield all of the unsaid things he kept cloistered away inside?

Craig took Tweek’s hand as he closed the door behind them, and dragged him to the bed without pausing for thought. Tweek chose not to go over the unreal and dizzying process that lead them from fistfights in fourth grade to now, but rather he decided to focus on the hazy sense of selfless love that convinced him that however strange this might be, he was really quite honoured that Craig had chosen _him_ to play along.

He fell face forward into the pillow and savoured the feeling of cotton on his skin. Craig told him not to get makeup on the pillow, but it was already too late. Tweek let his lipstick smear luxuriously over his face and into the weft of Craig’s pillowcase. His legs felt infinite, which was a sensation he had never experienced before. He rolled onto his back and stared at the stick on glow stars that littered the firmament of Craig’s bedroom ceiling.

“So hey,” He dared to ask, as Craig dropped down onto the bed next to him. “Is this by any chance a sex thing?”

His boyfriend shrugged, and even though his expression remained unchanged the minor shift in his posture revealed the truth.

“You could have said so earlier,” Tweek assured him, “I’m not great at being kinky or whatever but if you said I would have put more energy into... you know. Being sexy?”

“It’s not a sex thing,” Craig insisted. “But if you want to take it all off now that’s fine.”

“I don’t want to take it off, I’m just saying. If it _is_ a sex thing-“

“It’s not a sex thing!”

Craig had gone bright red, and it was kind of attractive in a bittersweet way because after so long together, Tweek still wished that Craig could be a little more honest about the kind of stuff that turned him on. Craig didnt like dealing in absolutes when it came to feelings, but Tweek needed clear instruction and reassurance more than the usual person - he was never entirely sure whether or not he should draw attention to the times Craig accidentally revealed his kinks, or if he should make a point of ignoring them. It was a real pain to deal with on occasion, because Tweek was somewhat reserved about most things, but he could not find it in himself to be reserved about sex.

Tweek really, really enjoyed sex. Sometimes, he worried that Craig didn’t enjoy it at all.

“I’m just saying, dude,” He poked the side of Craig’s thigh as reassuringly as possible, “That if it _is_ , you have to tell me so I can make an effort.”

Craig rolled his eyes.

“You’re a fucking pervert. Always thinking about sex.”

“I like sex.”

“Do you ever think about anything other than fucking?”

Tweek huffed and folded his arms over his chest defensively.

“Way to avoid the question.”

“You didnt ask a question.”

“Mm. You got me. Do you want to fuck?”

Tweek saw him cringe with his whole body, a momentary shiver of discomfort that drew his shoulders into a hunch of and released them as he shook it off again.

“I don’t understand how you are too nervous to get a glass of water in this house without my permission, but you can you just straight up ask something like that to my face. How do you do it?”

“It’s easy. I think of what I want to say and say it out loud.”

Their eyes met for a moment, and Tweek’s heart was momentarily electrified by the depth of Craig’s irises. And then Craig sighed.

“Alright,” He murmured, gaze dropping in embarrassment even though it didn’t need to, “I was hoping you would take the hint, but if you’re going to make me ask for it then I will. I want to have sex.”

“Ok. Great.’

Tweek was relieved to find that kissing him was just as pleasant _in_ lingerie and makeup as it was out of it.

Craig still wasn’t much of a tongue person, however. He never had been. This preference was something Tweek was used to though, and however frustrating it was at times Tweek still found it somewhat endearing. There was something much sexier about closed mouth kisses anyway, some hint of undisclosed longing which lingered in the heat in Tweek’s chest, and the way Tweek could feel his mouth gushing like he was a ten year old preparing to deliver a speech to his class. Craig’s little noises brought him great satisfaction, and so did the moment Craig allowed him to move from his lips to his ear to the side of his neck and kiss the warm, sweet spots at the side of Craig’s throat.

“You’re getting lipstick everywhere.” Craig gasped, although he didnt seem to want Tweek to stop. That was his fault anyway, for making him wear it, and Tweek decided he would just have to deal with the consequences.

The mattress made its noises as Craig let Tweek push him back against the bed, and the flowing fabric of the lingerie pulled taught in the knots of Craig’s fingers. Tweek half-teasingly murmured something sweet against Craig’s lips, and with a shivering little moan Craig pushed his body harder against him. Tweek couldn’t think for a more delightful response, to that contagious flicker of hunger that spread like wild fire between the bodies of two young men.

“Should I go wash the lipstick off then, at least?” Tweek heard himself asking, gesturing to his made up face once more.

“No, it’s okay. Just put this on.”

Craig reached for the bedside table, knocking off a pair of Trixie Belden books and an alarm clock in the shape of an octopus in his hurry. He groped behind the lamp for the box he kept lube and condoms in, and Tweek watched him, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“Here,” he said, losing patience only a few seconds after Craig had started searching. The box was still just out of the reach of his fingers, and Tweek could see it much better than Craig from where he was. He retrieved a condom himself, not grabbing the bottle of special lubricant next to the box just yet, and Craig sighed as though he was irritated that Tweek had snatched the defeat of this obstacle from him. The little foil packet crinkled as Tweek tucked it into his palm.

“We aren’t in a rush.”

“I know, I know.”

Tweek didnt want to tell him he was scared Craig would change his mind. He suspected, from the way Craig sighed, that Craig was well aware of this anyway.

Deciding the removal of the lingerie he was wearing was not nearly as important as the removal of Craig’s jeans, Tweek dropped the condom to the duvet and busied himself with the button fly that kept him in them. This prompted a small laugh from his partner and what was supposed to be a reassuring pat on the back of his hand.

“Let me do it,” he said, “you get so clumsy when you’re horny.”

“Ah! I do not!”

“You so do. You’re clumsy as fuck. There’s a reason your lipstick looks like that now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Craig’s lips curled and he undid his jeans with ease.

“It’s a good thing.”

Tweek wasn’t sure if he should be offended.

Self-conscious now, Tweek rubbed the back of his hand against his mouth and checked the damage on his lipstick. The smears on his hand were as obvious as the kiss marks on Craig’s face. The lingerie he was wearing suddenly felt quite rumpled, and his hair (which was always quite plentiful and chaotic anyway) felt like it had doubled in volume and wildness since their rolling in the blankets had began.

Craig sat up enough to remove his shirt, and the sight of his naked belly was enough to excise the whole thing from Tweek’s mind. He leaned back in for another kiss, which Craig conceded, and as they rolled over on the bed Craig’s hands wandered up underneath his lingerie. The little sigh of pleasure this brought upon him melted into a moan as he felt Craig’s erection press against his upper thigh.

It felt kind of weird, to find himself on the bottom, with his eyes on the ceiling and the mattress flat against his back. Tweek was strangely mindful of the world around them, as Craig rubbed their bodies against one another and allowed Tweek to bite at his lips, and the deep awareness of this inversion brought with it a sense of frantic desire. Of powerlessness and staccato breaths, and the dizzying sense of having lost all control entirely.

Craig smelt like the shower he had had, not long before he had invited Tweek to put makeup on. Like the lingering herby smell of his soap, and the natural crystal deodorant Tweek had brought him. It was intoxicating, and the last haunting taste of toothpaste at the edges of his lips made Tweek ache to be able to kiss him open mouthed. To ease his tongue over his teeth and explore the wet heat behind them. For a brief moment, he thought he was going to explode, but then, thank god, Craig let him roll them over again, and the space and relief of being back on top made his head spin.

“Roll over,” he insisted, his mind leaping to new and wonderful places with dizzying speed.

“What?”

“Roll over. Trust me.”

Craig gave him a funny look, which turned to alarm as Tweek propped himself up to make room for Craig to follow his orders.

“What for?”

“Remember that time at my place, when we tried watching all that porn?”

Tweek could see the memory dawning on his face.

“Uh, yeah _,_ ” he said, nervousness cracking through his whisper, “but you know you seriously don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

Tweek nudged the side of Craig’s hip in encouragement, and doing his best to contain the trembles Craig did as he was told. Tweek let his hands run down the curve of Craig’s spine, pushing up his shirt onto his shoulder blades and letting his thumbs roll over smooth, pale skin that rarely (if ever) saw the light of day. Craig’s body canted downwards, his hips elevating as Tweek’s hands drew closer to his tailbone, and even with his face pressing into the pillow Tweek could hear his dizzy, breathless moan as Tweek hooked his fingers in his underwear and slid them down.

Craig had exceptional legs, slim and firm and reasonably smooth, and the backs of his thighs prickled with goose bumps as Tweek leaned over and pressed him further into his little bow. Tweek’s hands skated the edges of his waist, and over the hollows on the sides of his butt. His legs trembled, like he might have collapsed beneath his own weight, and when Tweek moved to lay kisses on the backs of his knees his whole body began to flush and burn and quiver with tense desire. The planes of the backs of his legs were warm against sensitive lips, and the faintest ghosts of cosmetics marked his skin as Tweek kissed and teased him, hands whispering over his belly and his inner thighs.

“ _Jesus_...”

Tweek’s fingers felt blindly, and found the faint ridges of his hips, and with his chin resting at the small of Craig’s back Tweek could see the entire range of his spine in exquisite detail. The nape of his neck, pale and vulnerable as his face burrowed deep into the pillow, was so beautiful Tweek found himself aching to kiss him there. To kiss him everywhere. To make him feel powerless in the most sublime way imaginable. It was a strange thing to come to mind really - perhaps it was the atmosphere the lingerie had brought on?

He couldn’t say.

Did it matter?

A weird thought occurred to him then, something completely at odds with the mood in every way. But the question came out of his mouth before he could think about it, and of course he regretted it immediately.

“I bet you’ve never been gutted by a guy in a nightgown?”

Craig froze, his body rigid in the same downward facing position except now Tweek knew he had ruined everything. There was a moment of painful silence, before Craig replied.

“That is the most unappealing description…”

“... Of what?”

“Anything.” Craig informed him coolly. “Ever.”

Tweek groaned, his entire body wilting in embarrassment as he dropped down into a sitting position next to his boyfriend. The wrapper of the condom he had dropped pricked the side of his thigh.

“Fuck. Sorry”

He was just about to bury his face in his hands when he heard something. A light, muffled something that sounded like it was fighting its way out of a completely locked down chest. It was an unexpected noise, for sure, but at the same time it was unmistakeable.

Craig was laughing.

Something about the situation had tickled him, and he was laughing. Tweek watched in mortification as he let himself flop sideways onto the bed, his underwear still stretched between his knees, and sniggering to himself he awkwardly moved his legs to pull them all the way off. The sight of Craig’s softening erection brought with it a wave of guilt. Tweek hadn’t even gotten around to the good part...

“I love you,” Craig said, as though he was remarking on the state of the weather. “Even though you’re a giant looser. Thinking of what you want to say and then ‘saying it out loud’ only works if you _think_ about it first. Just spitting out the first words which come to your mind is the kind of behaviour which will get you punched the fuck out.”

“It was an accident!” Tweek glared at him, feeling gangly and bulky and stupid in his nightgown and makeup, even more unavoidably like himself than ever before. “I didn’t mean it to sound like that! Bad word choice… Jesus Christ.”

Craig gave him a smile, typically reserved but nonetheless endearing, and Tweek scrubbed his face uncomfortably with the back of his hand. He hadn’t noticed, but caught up in the heat and intimacy of the moment he had started sweating, and when he checked his hand he saw that there were more peachy coloured smudges on his skin than last time.

“I know you didn’t. It’s okay. Tell me you love me too.”

“Of course I do.”

“Say it. You made me ask for sex.”

“I love you too.”

Craig’s eyes fluttered, and he sat upright, sliding his arms around Tweek’s shoulders and burying his face against the side of his neck. Tweek shivered, the feeling of breath on his bare skin warm and erotic. Craig’s finger drifted to his upper arm, caressing his bicep and his shoulder, before coming to play with the spaghetti strap which held his lacy shift in place.

“You try so hard for me. I appreciate that.”

“Try hard at what?”

“Making me happy. Listening to what I say. You take me seriously all the time, even if I feel like an asshole saying stuff you never laugh of make fun of me or anything like that. So thank you.”

His hands wandered to the fabric of Tweek’s nightgown, fingers finding the hem on his legs and fidgeting with it like he was thinking about replicating the stitches there. A shiver of pleasure passed up Tweek’s back, and he turned his head an inch so they could study each other close up, face to face.

Craig had beautiful brown eyes. They were deep and rich like the earth, and they made Tweek’s breathing shallow sometimes with their intensity. Often, it was impossible to know what Craig was thinking behind them, but in that moment they reflected every thought and every emotion. It was like his entire soul was in his eyes.

Right now, his soul was inviting him to finish what he had started.

Tweek wasn’t going to turn that down.

The kiss was much deeper this time, much slower and wetter and headier than the frantic, horny pace they had set before. Tweek felt as though he was melting, Craig’s hand slipping slowly up the inside of his thigh, under the bottom of the nightgown and over the pale blonde hairs of his upper legs. Inside his underwear, his cock was aching. Craig’s tongue slid over his and shared some strange and beautiful knowledge, pertaining to the way Craig’s mouth would feel enveloping his cockhead, and with a little squirm of impatience Tweek felt himself pushing down gently in invitation. This had to be his intention in the first place, hadn’t it? Craig would have known that this kind of kissing, with a hand pressed insistently between Tweek’s thighs, was destined to devolve into oral sex or at the very least, some kind of hand job.

But instead Craig murmured something, something smothered which could have been about fucking, and slid his hands into the front of Tweek’s underpants.

_I guess I could give being gutted by a guy in a nightgown a try._

If this was Craig’s way of thanking him for taking him seriously or whatever, Tweek thought he could definitely live with that.

Tweek hunted for the condom amongst the duvet covers, and Craig grabbed the lube from the bedside table. The process of finger fucking himself ready was familiar, and well practiced, and that familiarity was devastatingly sexy. Tweek watched him do what he needed to do, and leaned back as Craig straddled his hips. His belly looked beautiful under Tweek’s hands.

Tweek had to bite his lip as Craig settled on him, struggling to keep his breath steady while his partner’s brow creased and his lips parted, and the hands bracing against Tweek’s chest trembled with the pain and pleasure of union. Sitting like this, Craig’s legs rubbed against the bottom of Tweek’s lingerie

Craig was always so warm, and he always liked to use a lot of lube. When the time came for him to start moving, Tweek heard himself moan in bliss. Craig’s eyes fluttered, and in single breath-taking gesture he pushed his hair back of his forehead, stretching the muscles on his ribs luxuriously in front of him.

“Goddamn Tweek,” he breathed, and with a slow roll of his hips Tweek felt his heart trip, his back curving and locking into a rigid arch while Craig whined for him, so sweetly. “You like this?”

Tweek kept the inside of his cheek pinched between his teeth and nodded. The heat at the base of his spine was ascending each of his vertebrae, becoming burning and breathless and aching even though he had only had his cock in him for two minutes. Slowly, liquidly, Craig’s hand slid over his hipbone and began stroking his own cock. The spreading waves of pleasure, rocking skin on skin until Craig was leaning over and kissing him deeply, made Tweek want to scream at him. Consume him. Break him open and hold him and crawl in between the spaces of his bones.

The sound of his voice was buried by Craig’s tongue, sinking into Tweek’s mouth as he felt himself verge on finishing. With his fingers mounting the notches of Craig’s back, Tweek let his hips slam up and leave him breathless - Craig finished with a sudden, powerful shudder, not noticing as his partner finished too. Tweek’s toes curled and his legs trembled, and every part of him felt like he was falling to pieces. He was converted to dust which had no boarders, and left with nothing but the awareness of the lingerie which held his form together.

Craig finished the kiss, and when he parted Tweek realised they both were panting. Craig rolled off him, boneless, and the pair of them lay side by side catching their breath.

“You fuck really well.” Craig told him, after a minute of lying there in the aftermath.

“Thanks. But I didn’t do that much, really.”

“You were there. That’s enough.”

Tweek supposed this was true. And besides, he wasn’t going to turn down free validation. He grinned, and felt to see if Craig had come on his lingerie during the fucking.

He had, and there was a generous helping of lube on it too. He hoped Craig didn’t spend too much money on it.

“If it’s any consolation, Craig, you’re a good fuck too.”

Craig laughed, and shuffled a little closer. Tweek could smell the scent of sweat on his skin.

“Maybe I need more practice.”

Tweek thought he might have to contemplate that one.

He was happy enough just to lie with him, until then.

**Author's Note:**

> make longhair!tweek happen @ handbagmurder dot tumblr dot com.


End file.
